Week Twelve - A Day in The Life -  Gathering Clouds Again?

 Hi, it’s Paul again. Maybe I spoke too soon last week when I said that we survived the storm. I truly thought that once I started my new job this would be a closed chapter. After all, what is there more to say?

Francesca never lets go very easily, I should have known that. She is still nagging me about talking with her about the last four weeks or so. I don’t see any need. The problem is solved. End of story. But not with her. She continues to bring it up, at the most inopportune times, I must add, like when we are cuddling in bed before going to sleep or first thing in the morning. Who wants to talk about the last four weeks? Not me, for sure. I don’t see any value in ruminating on something that is over. She tells me we are not open with one another, that we need to talk about FEELINGS, that she is not done with it. I don’t understand what is more to discuss.

I knew this would be a problem. That’s why I tried to push it off as long as I could. Can you imagine what would have happened had I told her about my job when we were engaged? She might have cancelled our wedding, because financial security is so important to her! She is just like her father. I can see it more and more clearly each day. She has to have everything planned at least for the next twenty years to feel safe. I can just imagine her reaction if I were to tell her that my job with Phil is temporary!

I am thinking of planning a little vacation, just she and I, only for a few days, maybe even just a weekend. Maybe this will distract her and she will let go of wanting to talk about my job. We both used to love camping before we got married. Maybe I will plan it and surprise her. On second thoughts, I don’t think this would be a good idea. She hates surprises. I think it is part of her wanting to be in control of everything. Ok, this is what I will do: her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. I will tell her that I would like to celebrate it with her in a tent. We know a place in the mountains where we had wonderful times in the past. We both have great memories of our times there. It is a happy place for us. It will get us out of the house, work, cleaning, paying bills, worrying about life in general, at least for a few days.

And perhaps we will feel close again. This problem with my job seems to have created some kind of tension between us. We don’t seem to be able to get past it. Perhaps going away will do the trick. It’s worth trying anyway, what else is there to do?  I certainly don’t want to get stuck in interminable conversations about something that is over. Tonight I will make the suggestion, see how she will react.